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Jun 14, 2012

BAD MOVIES WE LOVE SERIES

There is not one person I know out there that doesn't have one "bad" movie that they defend valiantly.  We all have varying tastes, so one's definition of a "bad" movie might be another's definition of an classic.  The word bad in this case is of course subjective.  Could refer to reputation or a low budget more than craftsmanship, but lets face it, there are bad movies out there and some of them are so bad that they're good.

It all started one night when Deb (@Cineaste77 - a movie twitter feed that you should be following) my friend over at Rupert Pupkin Speaks (the legendary @bobfreelander on Twitter) and I were talking about some bad movies that we have an appreciation for.  That's when the idea to have each of us blog our lists of Bad Movies We Love was born (thank you @bobfreelander).

I consider myself somewhat of a film snob, but also just love films period.  I have been blasted so many times by friends, colleagues and co-workers for liking a movie that they hate - I even had one tell me I had the worst taste in movies ever (a day after they called me one of the most informed Movie experts they know) because I liked one of the movies that is in fact included on this list.

So if you want to read the Rupert Pupkin list, it can be found HERE.  Deb's list will be following shortly, also posted on the Rupert Pupkin blog.

But ladies and gentlemen, here is my list of bad movies that I love - in no particular order.

QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE (1958; Edward Bernds)





This is a movie so obviously written by a man for men.  Astronaut's end up on a planet of amazon women - including Zsa Zsa Gabor - where all the men have been killed off.  Some of the women want the men, others want them dead.  The Queen is messed up thanks to radiation, and her face is so disfigured that the lead astronaut cannot bring himself to even look at her.  Wow.... misogyny this movie is for you.

Available via THE WARNER ARCHIVE movie-on-demand service.




CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA (1961; Roger Corman)





This movie is so cheap and so bad, I watched it twice in one night.  The voice-over alone is worth the price of admission, and future CHINATOWN writer Robert Towne is in it.

A mobster makes up a creature in order to rip off a group of Cuban revolutionaries - thing is, there is a real creature out there killing and man is the costume a riot!




VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (1965; Bert I. Gordon)




Talk about subtext so blatant.  A group of horny rebelious teens drink Ron Howard's (credited as Ronny) growth potion, become giants and hold a town hostage and it's up to Tommy Kirk to stop them.  Worth it for a dance party scene where one of the giant women picks up a guy, and basically shoves him between her breasts.  Best part is they use that image on the one-sheet.




HUDSON HAWK (1991; Michael Lehmann)





A monumental box office bomb that has a burglar Bruce Willis pulling off heists while singing songs.  The villainous Richard E. Grant and Sandra Bernhard just don't chew up the scenery - they DEVOUR it.  Oh yeah, then there's that moment a drugged Andie MacDowell thinks she's speaking to Dolphins.  It doesn't get any better than this people!




CRAZY PEOPLE (1990; Tony Bill, Barry L. Young)




Dudley Moore is an advertising executive who has a nervous breakdown, is committed, falls for Daryl Hannah and turns the insane asylum into an ad agency.

This by the way was the movie I mentioned in the pre-amble.  For liking this...I was shunned.  It's a rough being me.




DC CAB (1983; Joel Schumacher)




From the director of BATMAN & ROBIN comes Mr. T as a cab driver in the usual story of a gang of misfits turning around their rundown cab company.  Has your obligatory scene of a big breasted woman getting in a cab and taking her top off for no apparent reason.




MEATBALLS III: SUMMER JOB (1987; George Mendeluk)


A porn star (Sally Kellerman) comes down from heaven to help nerd (and future McDreamy) Patrick Dempsey get laid.  True 80s teen comedy in which everyone in the movie is all about sex, sex, drinking and sex.

As a teen I kept praying a porn star would come and lend me a hand.  Never happened.

DELIRIOUS (1991; Tom Makniewicz)




Not so sure if this falls under the "bad' movie category or not, but John Candy is a soap writer who gets hit in the head and wakes up as a character on his own soap.  Few people remember this movie, but I had a good time at it.  I was one of 3 in the theater on opening night (also recovering from food poisoning) and one of the other 2 upon seeing the trailer for woman-in-distress Goldie Hawn thriller DECEIVED before the movie screamed out after Goldie's pleas for help "WE'LL HELP YOU GOLDIE" in the creepiest voice ever.




DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE (1965; Norman Taurog)


Vincent Price creates bikini clad women robots (early version of Fembots) that then trick rich men out of their fortunes.  Pure 60s cheese and pure awesome.




ALMOST AN ANGEL (1990; John Cornell)





Paul Hogan tries to move on from "CROCODILE" DUNDEE but fades into obscurity instead.  I oddly didn't mind this movie at all.




SHOCKER (1989; Wes Craven)




SHOCKER was one of the most fun nights I have ever had in a movie theater.  It is so ludicrous and chalk full of crazy continuity errors that I don't believe for a second there was a script supervisor on set.

A serial killer goes to the electric chair, and utilizes electricity to keep himself alive and get revenge on the teenager that turned him in.  Just typing this up makes me want to watch it again.




METEOR (1979; Ronald Neame)




The US is forced to join forces with the USSR to stop a meteor hurtling towards Earth.  All-star cast includes Henry Fonda, Natalie Wood and Sean Connery.  Beats ARMAGEDDON any day.




ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK (1988; James Signorelli)




A puritan town isn't so happy about the arrival of the well endowed Elvira, and she almost gets burned at the stake.  Features a scene of her twirling tassels from her breasts.  I was a teen when I first saw this so that explains my fond memories of it.




SON-IN-LAW (1993; Steve Rash)




Pauly Shore on a farm.  If you made it past Pauly Shore....well done.




THE KILLER SHREWS (1959; Ray Kellogg)




The main protagonist (James Best - Roscoe P. Coltrane from THE DUKES OF HAZZARD) is quite possibly the biggest jerk of a hero that has ever been on screen.  He's pretty much pissed off the entire time, and even more so when he ends up on an island where a scientist's experiments have created giant killer shrews.  He falls for the scientist's daughter, but one assumes that when the go off to live happily ever after - well most nights he probably comes home drunk and surly and she ends up leaving him after a month.

Notable for an awesome ending (SPOILER ALERT) where those still alive use metal washbasins as kind of foot-tanks to get to Best's boat.




CUTTHROAT ISLAND (1995; Renny Harlin)


Another colossal bomb at the box office - one that was doomed well before release at that - is also a fun fun ride of a movie.  John Debney's score is great, and everyone is so miscast it just is a train wreck that must be watched to be believed.




CLEAN SLATE (1994; Mick Jackson)


Imagine MEMENTO with Dana Carvey as a private eye who has the same wake-up-every-morning-forget-everything affliction.  Yeah that's CLEAN SLATE.




JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS (2001; Harry Elfont; Deborah Kaplan)


This should have been awful.  However, a weirdly profound (yeah I used the word profound to describe JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS) anti-consumerism message makes this a much better movie than it should be.




JASON X (2001; James Isaac)


Jason goes to space.  Best scene ever - he beats a woman in a sleeping bag against the side of a tree.  Now what does that say about me?




DREAM A LITTLE DREAM (1989; Marc Rocco)


Jason Robard's spirit ends up in Corey Feldman.  Man talk about a nightmare!  Oddly surreal and Meredith Salenger is a knockout.  Very 80s pop soundtrack - I still have the LP.

LOVERBOY (1989; Joan Micklin Silver)


Patrick Dempsey takes a job as a gigolo who doubles as a pizza boy that answers sex calls though a phone code.  Yeah so there's this scene where he gets unknowingly hired by his Mom....awkward!




BRIDE OF CHUCKY (1998; Ronny Yu)


The Chucky series has always been fun but this one really took the cake.  It just went all out and you could tell everyone involved was having fun doing it. Not to mention I am in love with Jennifer Tilly even in crazy doll form.




HERBIE GOES BANANAS (1980; Vincent McEveety)


When I was a kid, I loved Herbie.  I wanted to go around driving in Herbie and impress all my friends (seriously, forget K.I.T.T).  Here Herbie gets thrown off a cruise ship and ends up stranded and covered in Bananas in Mexico.

Favorite moment involves Cloris Leachman doing a sexy dance for ship captain Harvey Korman who is too busy watching the luxury liner in the window behind her.  I mean any movie that has Harvey Korman and Cloris Leachman is destined for greatness.




SCAVENGER HUNT (1979; Michael Schultz)


One of those crazy movies that has a bunch of big named celebrities involved in low-brow humor as they engage in a SCAVENGER HUNT where the winner gets millions.  I always love these movies (RAT RACE is another great example) and I saw this one as a kid at my Aunt's place.  I was told that I couldn't watch it - but I did anyway and loved every second of it.

NEXT OF KIN (1989; John Irvin)




This great thing about this movie is that it is coming out on Blu-ray Disc from Warner Home Video in the next few weeks.  It's one of those titles I am happy is getting the Blu-ray treatment.

So Patrick Swayze is a former hillbilly now Chicago cop.  He's hunting down the killer of his brother, but another of his brothers - Liam Neeson - who is still full-on hillbilly is there and plans to carry out his own special brand of mountain justice.  Movie gets great when a bunch of the family members - all crazy hillbillys - show up at the end to join in the fun.

Bill Paxton, Ben Stiller, Adam Baldwin, Helen Hunt and Michael J. Pollard are in it as well.  Pure unadulterated guilty pleasure bliss to be had!




POLTERGEIST III (1988; Gary Sherman)


This movie creeped me out - especially the use of mirrors.  A troubled production that included the little girl dying during production (notice there are a lot of shots where you don't see her face) but I have fond memories of watching and liking this.  I re-watched it recently and still liked it.